Keeping Up with Your Teen

May 17, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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Parenting a teenager is likely the most challenging part of parenthood. Even with the terrible twos, you can pick up the child and go to his or her bedroom when needed. Ever tried that with a teen? You’ll be dealing with a bad back as well as a teenager.

Roots and Wings

It has been said that what teenagers want is roots and wings. Or in other words, they need to be grounded in their family, knowing who they are, where they come from and what is expected of them. They also need freedom — freedom to make as many of their own choices as possible. They also need to experience the consequences of those choices whether good or bad.

One way to provide some freedom is with a cell phone. The prepaid Blackberry Curve allows your teen to stay in touch with friends and with you. You can also save yourself worry by being able to text or call them if you start feeling worried. A prepaid phone keeps them from running up a huge bill and gives them responsibility for maybe earning their own money to keep their phone going.

Techno Teens

There is no doubt that teens are the ones who know how to work all the new gadgets coming on the market. They text faster, speak the weird “textese” and seem to innately know how to use technology with no learning curve. It takes a willing and savvy parent to keep up with it all. It does give parents a ready topic of conversation in which to engage your teen. One to which they might actually respond!

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Parenting a Gay Teen

May 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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Teens can learn about homosexuality earlier than ever, and, as a result, gay teens have a language to describe their feelings. Consequently, more teens are coming out to their family members, so parents today must learn about raising homosexual children more than ever before. Parents of gay teens who are educated on the issues of homosexuality can raise happy, well-adjusted children.

First, parents should realize that the situation is about the child, not them. The child’s sexual orientation is not a result of how the parents raised him or her. Parents may also worry that their child will be bullied, lonely or unpopular. They may even worry that they’ll never have grandchildren. Parents should deal with these worries on their own, or through the help of a psychiatrist. They should not communicate them to the child; children flourish when they feel support from their parents, rather than apprehension.

Further, parents should be their child’s biggest advocate. They shouldn’t be ashamed of his or her sexual orientation; they should be comfortable sharing or talking about it with others. Parents should communicate their acceptance of homosexuality to help their children feel comfortable with themselves and more confident. For parents who have difficulty with accepting homosexuality, they can seek help through a counselor, or search for a local PFLAG chapter. Coming out is an extremely difficult experience for a teen to go through. Parents should acknowledge this, and should know that through coming out to them, their child wants them to be apart of his or her future.

For parents who have difficulty accepting their child’s sexual orientation, they should find help before their relationship with their child becomes damaged.

 

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Teens and Binge Drinking

March 30, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Binge drinking refers to heavily consuming alcohol over a short period of time. It is very easy for a teen to get caught up in the social scene and face peer pressure to drink.

Most teens drink alcohol out of curiousity; they want to know what it tastes like.  They have the wrong inpression alcohol will make them feel good, not realizing after those few feel good moments they can easily become sick or hung-over.  Some teens drink for the appearance of being older. While sadly a great many drink to reduce stress and forget their troubles.

Besides being hung-over or throwing up, teens don’t realize there are servere risks to binge drinking.

  • Binge drinking can lead to alcohol poisoning which has life-threatening counsequences. Excess alcohol causes the body to involuntarily reflex. A person can experience seizures and convulsions, not be able to awaken once passed out, or experience slow and irregular breathing.
  • Binge drinking also impairs judgement. An intoxicated person is more likely to drive while under the influence, have unprotected sex, and put themselves into higher risk situations.
  • A teen’s physical health takes a major toll from excessive drinking. A binge drinker has a tendancy to gain weight, develop high blood pressure, damage their liver, and have poor sleeping patterns.
  • Binge drinkers have a high risk of mental health issues. They lose the ability to concentrate, develop poor sleep patterns, and have significant changes in their personalities. This leads to poor academic or job performance, feelings of intense anger or moodiness, and severe depression with suicidal tendancies.
  • The ultimate risk of binge drinking is that it will turn into alcoholism. The person will no longer be able to go through a day without the need to consume one or more alcoholic beverages.
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The Pre-Trip Checklist

February 25, 2011 By Leave a Comment

The average adolescent can’t wait for his first excursion out into the world without his parents. In most cases, the opportunity arises when he is invited on a trip with a friend’s family or his school goes on an overnight field trip. For the average parent, this can be a scary proposition. Although you enjoy seeing your teen grow up, you can’t help but worry just a little bit about what he will encounter out in the world. To make this transition easier for both of you, follow this check list:

Identification and Contact information

No matter how old your teenager may be, it doesn’t hurt to include a slip of paper in his wallet that includes contact information. Although he knows his phone number and address, an accident could render him incapable of communicating. If he has a driver’s license, make sure he carries it. For younger teens, most state DMVs can provide ID cards. It might also be a good idea to include a copy of your insurance card, as well.

Secure Payment Methods

Although it’s good for your teen to have a little bit of cash on him, this is easy to lose. On the other hand, you wouldn’t want to turn him loose with a credit card. However, prepaid credit cards are a great option. If he does lose the card, you can easily cancel it and recover the money.

Medical Information

Most school permission slips will include a place to give your approval for medical treatment in the case of emergency, but a friend’s parents may not think of this critical item. Provide a note authorizing them to seek treatment in the case of emergency along with a list of any medications that your teen takes.

Although this list is far from complete, it provides an idea of what should be included in your teenager’s backpack for their next trip.

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Education Alternatives are Available for Your Child

February 21, 2011 By Leave a Comment

There are several alternative education options available that may be what your troubled child needs to put his or her academics back on track. Whether your child is struggling with behavioral or sociological issues, you know how important it is for him or her to continue with academic pursuits. You may want to look into non-traditional or alternative educational options to help your child. These schools may have a different curriculum or teaching style than those offered at regular, public schools.

Many alternative schools try to provide things that may be lacking in a traditional school. These things usually include personalized attention and may have roots in philosophical, religious or scholarly backgrounds. You should do research to find what may be the best alternative educational opportunity for your child.

First you should ascertain what issue your child is facing. Is it disciplinary? Is it behavioral or something else? There are schools that can concentrate on behavioral issues such as boot camps or other discipline-based schools. Students are often required to attend such schools after they have been expelled.

Perhaps you understand that your child does not do well in a larger classroom situation. You may want to look at charter schools that are required to maintain the same standards as the public schools, because in fact they are part of the public school system.

You may also want to consider home schooling or online schools. You will be much more involved with your child’s education on a day-to-day basis. These options will let your student study at his or her individual pace or repeat an online module for great understanding.

You may need to visit several of these options to find the one that will best suit the needs of your child, but in the end it will be worth it when you have an academically successful child.

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When Do You Need Help Dealing With Teen Rebellion?

February 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

At some point, all teens will engage in behavior that you simply don’t like. This is a normal way that teens establish their independence. This is the stage where you need to reiterate limits and outline the possible consequences that you will dole out. This type of rebellion usually goes away, but not without constant work on your part. Most teens who are simply testing limits will listen to you, even if they are belligerent.

Escalating bad behavior requires punishment. Continual rule breaking, attempting to call your bluff and increasing disrespect can still be controlled, but they require a harder stance. The key is to follow through with punishment. Don’t make threats that you don’t follow through on, as this simply gives them more momentum and a bigger advantage. If it starts to get more difficult, it’s important that both parents are on the same page and work together. Single parents may need to enlist a grandparent or another adult to show the teen that adults have the authority.

Zero tolerance behaviors like crime or drug use are very destructive and may be beyond your ability to handle alone. These may require a professional intervention. Sometimes the intervention happens in ways you don’t want it to, for instance, if the child is arrested. In that case the decision is made for you. Remember that if you stage it, at least you have some control over the situation. As difficult as it can be, you may need to get assistance before the child gets in trouble with the law. Putting it off may mean it is out of your hands, and there can be dire consequences.

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The Pros and Cons of Monitoring Software for Kids

February 7, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Parents walk a fine line between trusting their children to make the right decisions when online and needing to defend children from the bad things that go on in the world and on the Internet.

There are so many dangers lurking at every turn. It makes perfect sense to many parents to monitor what their children are doing online at all times. On the other side of the coin, there are those who believe that trusting their children will prepare them better for life after high school. There are compelling arguments on both sides.

Here are a few things you might want to consider to help you decide what the best choice for your family may be.

1) Even good kids make bad decisions sometimes.

2) You can’t always be looking over their shoulders no matter how careful you are.

3) Monitoring software protects them from others as well as from themselves.

4) There are some things your kids just aren’t ready to accidentally stumble across.

Monitoring software and similar PC Tools can protect your kids from all those things and more. As difficult as the decision can be, it’s better than facing the alternative for many parents.

The arguments in favor of trusting your children are true and quite compelling. But the fact remains that there are bad things that happen to good kids every day because of innocent interactions online. Your first priority is to protect your children no matter how much you do or do not trust them.

Is it a good idea to spy on your children? I can’t speak for everyone. I can only speak for myself. I’d rather have my children safe at home and mad at me for spying on them than facing the unthinkable alone because I didn’t want them to hate me for prying.

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Ways To Help Teens Become Responsible Adults

February 6, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Teens can’t ever become responsible if they never learn to make choices. Over-scheduling, deciding how to occupy all their free time and taking away all their decision-making means that they never learn how to do these things for themselves. Responsible people learn to manage time on their own and act according to the right priorities.

Trying to solve all their problems and make everything turn out alright can actually be damaging. People who are never disappointed, embarrassed or heartbroken turn out to be shallow and insensitive. No one wants to see their child unhappy, but creating a false reality stunts their emotional development. Allow things to take their course, offer support when asked, but don’t try to manage every single situation.

Unless they are about to participate in something that is physically harmful or that has irreversible consequences, let them evaluate the risks and determine their own course of action. Buying impractical items, staying up too late or missing band practice all have consequences. By the time they are teenagers they should understand what will happen when they do these things. If not, its time for them to learn, No lecture can teach them what suffering the consequences can. Don’t go to bat for them when they have chosen to break the rules.

Remember that teens can’t learn to be responsible if they never see anyone else doing it. Practice what you preach as much as possible. If you make excuses for everything, you will soon find that your teens will start doing the same thing. Likewise, if they see you taking steps to improve, they will have an appreciation for responsible behavior and the rewards it can bring.

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Setting Rules And Limits For Teen Driving

February 2, 2011 By Leave a Comment

When teens start driving, there can often be tension around the home as they become more independent and have more freedom. They don’t always understand the responsibility that comes with being able to drive. Being able to drive is a privilege that they have to earn by following your rules as well as traffic laws. They may resist your limits on their new-found freedom, so you need to reiterate that you had to go through the same thing once too to prove that you were responsible

When you own the car, it should be pretty clear to your teen that everything you say goes. Strict curfews need to be followed or they lose driving privileges. The same goes for reckless driving, or breaking any of your other rules like no loud music or texting behind the wheel.

When you have purchased them a car, remember that you still have the authority. As long as they are under age, you can still take away the keys. Have them sign a contract before you buy the car. When things are in writing, people tend to take them more seriously. This way, you can always remind them of what they agreed to.

If they buy a car themselves, don’t be manipulated into fixing their mistakes. Depending on your state, you may be legally responsible for any damage they cause. However, you don’t have to pay to fix their own car when they brought the damage upon themselves.

It’s always best to discuss rules, limits and responsibilities before they start driving. When they see that there are costs and consequences to breaking the rules, they might understand how much of a responsibility it really is.

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Christian Faith Can Stay Strong At College

February 1, 2011 By Leave a Comment
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College is the time when most teens transition to adulthood. It’s a wonderful time of growth, learning and new experiences. It can also be a time of temptations. For students with a deep tradition in Christian faith and education, the college experience can be a time of tumult. This doesn’t mean it should be shunned. Instead, the campus experience can be embraced as a perfect test and testament to how strong a Christian student’s faith can truly be.

Just because a student is heading off to college doesn’t mean the parent’s role in their upbringing ends. In fact, this is when that kicks into high gear. Even if your child is headed off to a Christian-based college, that doesn’t mean they won’t be confronted with many issues you’ve kept them safe from. The goal should be what it has always been: stick to your faith. No matter what kind of campus they move to, Christian students will always find like-minded classmates. There are many fellowship clubs they can join. In the absence of them, perhaps you could encourage your kid to start their own Christian organization. We all know it just takes a strong Christian leader to show the way. Perhaps that’s your child!

It’s also vital that parents keep the lines of communication open to their college-bound students. Perhaps the addition of a webcam hook-up could be a way to have your presence felt. Temptation is going to be lurking around every corner. However, when you can provide the same level of wisdom and encouragement as you have, then you can keep your child on the straight and narrow. If that means learning how to work a webcam then so be it! The popular college site earnmydegree.com has plenty more helpful tips to make this transition as seamless as possible. And if it’s not a good fit, they can always earn their degree from the comfort of their own home with online classes.

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